Frustration
My tablet needs an update, yet the Apple ID it’s signed into isn’t my own. I believe my brother made it so we could get games from another country, but we now can’t download games at all.
I really looked forward to spending time on Roblox today.. I’ve been up sucking on carts since 9, since I’m still feeling the drag of not getting that stupid job. I spent the morning applying to more and chit chatting with my big brother. Get used to me bringing hm up, him and my buddy Tom. They are the most active characters in my life.
My mom blew up at my brother for asking for a ride to work, and I wanted to practice driving on the way home - offering that she’d only have to drive there. But she said no, but very dramatic and victimizing. She began to cry and like, make a scene. She always does. It lasted till AFTER my brother left for work too - she kept me in the kitchen telling me how everyone in this house is an adult and needs to communicate and clean the house.
In the home is Me (17), My brother (18), Tom (19), my mom who’s in her 40s and my dad as well. Then my mom’s boyfriend Marquees comes over daily. My dad is sick - he’s a dead way alcoholic who now is on heavy pain medicine and is basically making my mom a nursing home assistant. Can’t work. He doesn’t even bathe or change clothes. He just yells at her and then demands she never leaves his side unless it’s to get him a drink. So, my Dad doesn’t work, my Mom doesn’t work. My mom’s boyfriend doesn’t work — my brother works.
My brother, Tom and I have cleaned the kitchen several times only for it to get messy again at their hands - they claim we need to do more, yet they drink, get high and fight in a repeating cycle that actively disrupts our lives
My brother does some basic cleaning around the house, as much as you can do in a hoarder house, and he works a real job… yet, we aren’t doing enough? We keep to ourselves because Dad kicked in one of our doors over something my Mom did, and yet we need to work on communication.
It just annoys me that the adults I grew up with basically had my brother raise me (a fair share of me raising myself too) and also we have always had to clean up and put up with them.
It’s frustrating, and even more so that this women will look me in the eyes and tell me my short comings. When I know she got married at 17 and drank every day of her life. To hell with them.
I can’t wait till I get a job. There’s a laundry mat I applied to that pays 550 a week. It’s full time, but that’s great money. This evening I have a meeting with my Agency, so maybe I’ll get some small commercial offers and I’ll make maybe a spare 75.
Honestly, we can only hope and then wait.. and waiting only gives me more time to get high and hope more and more.. it also gives me more time to play with a new friend I found named sweet cheeks